BeThatHealingGirl Podcast

How to Feel Like a Priority Without Chasing or Being Needy

In this episoe we’re talking about how to feel like a priority in your relationship... without slipping into overthinking, over‑analyzing every text, or feeling like you’re “asking for too much.”
This episode is for you if:
• You know they care about you… but you can’t always feel it
• You find yourself checking for proof or reassurance
• You are tired of being the one initiating, planning, or emotionally leading
• Your brain does wind sprints when there’s space or distance in the relationship
• You’re successful in every other area of life, but your nervous system goes ✨ feral✨ in love
 
Trust me, I’ve lived this. I went from anxiously attached (and chronically exhausted from managing the relationship in my head) to actually feeling chosen, safe, and prioritized in a secure partnership. And we’re unpacking exactly how that shift happens today. 💛
🌙 If you're new: I’m Clare! Relationship and attachment coach for high‑achieving women who are incredible at life… but feel wobbly in love. MDs, founders, attorneys, academics, corporate powerhouses - the girlies who “have their life together” but still spiral at the slow text response? Yep. You’re home.
Love you, mean it. x Clare 🤍
🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

How I Accidentally Rewired My Anxious Attachment Into a Secure One

You're not needy. You're just healing! In this episode, I’m sharing how I accidentally rewired my anxious attachment into a secure one...without forcing it, faking it, or labeling myself as “crazy.”
If you’ve ever found yourself wondering:
“Why am I spiraling when everything is fine?” “Why do I panic when things finally feel safe?” …or “Why can’t I just stay calm in a good relationship?” This one’s for you, bb 🫶
👇Here’s what we’re unpacking today:
✨ Why your brain freaks out when your body finally relaxes
✨ How “self-awareness” can actually be a form of over-control
✨ Why you still feel unsafe in a healthy relationship
✨ What it really means to self-regulate vs. spiral
✨ The power of experiencing consistent love (instead of just talking about it)
✨ And how your partner’s stability can rewire your nervous system—if you let it
PLUS: real wins from the Healing Girl Gang! 💌
If you’re a high-achieving, emotionally intelligent woman who crushes it at work but crumbles inside a text bubble… this one’s for you. 🫶
Whether you’re newly dating, navigating relationship anxiety, or trying to trust your GOOD partner, this episode will give you the real talk, mindset shifts, and embodiment work you didn’t know you needed.
🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

How Being ‘Chill’ Can Push a Safe Partner Away (When You Have Relationship Anxiety)

Welcome back BBs! In this episode, we’re diving deep into a pattern I see all the time: acting “chill” when inside, you're spiraling. You know the drill...trying so hard to come off as the "cool-low-maintenance-unbothered-girlie" so you don’t scare a good partner away… but then end up feeling lonely, disconnected, or like they’re slipping further away anyway...
Yeah, we’re unpacking THAT.
We’re talking:
✨ Why “being chill” is often just masked FEAR
✨ How inauthenticity actually erodes intimacy
✨ What safe partners are really craving (hint: it’s not perfection) and
✨ How to stop false-signaling and start authentically expressing what’s real for YOU!
Whether you're anxiously attached, healing from abandonment, or a high-achieving, high-performing baddie who secretly (or not-so-secretly) melts down when someone doesn’t text back right away… this one’s for you.
🫶 PLUS: I’m answering a juicy Healing Girl Gang Hotline question from someone navigating a relationship blowup and trying to repair trust after spiraling. 🎧
This episode is for you if you’ve ever:
Said “I’m fine” through gritted teeth Pretended to be cool with ambiguity but were low-key obsessing
Felt like your partner didn’t get how much effort you were putting into not freaking out
Or thought, “Ugh, maybe I’m just not meant to be in a relationship” (spoiler: you are)
P.S. Inside the Healing Girl Gang community, we’re not about faking it till we make it... we’re about becoming actually unbothered from the inside out. If you're ready for deeper connection, more ease, and to stop abandoning yourself to keep someone else, you’ll love this episode!!
🦋 And If You're Ready for The Deeper Work, Checkout These Resources:
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

3 Mistakes You're Making That Make You Second Guess a Secure Relationship

If you're in a healthy relationship but your brain won't stop spiraling... this episode is going to hit home. In this week’s episode I’m breaking down the 3 mistakes that keep high-achieving, anxious girlies stuck in the cycle of second-guessing even the most loyal and consistent partner. If you’ve ever found yourself thinking: “Why can’t I just enjoy this person?” “Why am I prepping for the breakup when everything’s going fine?” “Am I making problems where there are none?” 👀 Then this is for YOU.
I’m walking you through:
✨ The "prep for the pain" loop that keeps you emotionally exhausted
✨ Why treating your relationship like a project to manage is sabotaging your joy
✨ How mistaking surveillance for loyalty drains your connection ✨ And how to finally start trusting yourself so you can receive the love right in front of you
Whether you're dating, in a long-term relationship, or navigating love after heartbreak, this episode is your permission slip to step off the spiral ride and start feeling secure for real.
🎧 Get ready to hear:
→ Why your anxiety won’t let you enjoy a secure partner
→ The real reason you keep sabotaging connection
→ How to stop overthinking and start building self-trust
This episode is especially for my anxious attachment babes, my high-functioning overthinkers, and my career girlies who crush it at work but feel like a mess in love.
This week we’re unpacking the real reason your brain confuses anxiety for intuition (and how to stop self‑sabotaging a healthy relationship!) If you’ve ever questioned your feelings, overanalyzed your partner’s every move, or convinced yourself your anxiety was a “gut feeling,” this episode is for you!
🧠 In this episode we'll be diving into:
✨ Why “the ick” is often a fear of intimacy, not intuition
✨ How anxiety shows up as false alarms in safe relationships
✨ The difference between red flags vs. self‑protection
✨ How to stop testing your partner and start trusting connection
✨ What your nervous system is actually trying to protect you from
✨ Why discomfort doesn’t mean danger—it means growth I share a personal story about how I almost lost an incredible partner because I thought my fear was “a sign.” (Spoiler: it wasn’t.) I want you to stop mistaking safety for boredom and start building the kind of secure relationship you’ve been craving!
🫶 Whether you’re newly dating, navigating relationship anxiety, or trying to trust your GOOD partner, this episode will give you the real talk, mindset shifts, and embodiment work you didn’t know you needed.
 
🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

What Happens When You Confuse Your Anxiety For Intuition

This week we’re unpacking the real reason your brain confuses anxiety for intuition (and how to stop self‑sabotaging a healthy relationship!)
If you’ve ever questioned your feelings, overanalyzed your partner’s every move, or convinced yourself your anxiety was a “gut feeling,” this episode is for you!
🧠 In this episode we'll be diving into:
✨ Why “the ick” is often a fear of intimacy, not intuition
✨ How anxiety shows up as false alarms in safe relationships
✨ The difference between red flags vs. self‑protection
✨ How to stop testing your partner and start trusting connection
✨ What your nervous system is actually trying to protect you from
✨ Why discomfort doesn’t mean danger—it means growth
I share a personal story about how I almost lost an incredible partner because I thought my fear was “a sign.” (Spoiler: it wasn’t.) I want you to stop mistaking safety for boredom and start building the kind of secure relationship you’ve been craving!
🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

Why You Keep Mistaking Anxiety for Intuition in Your Relationship

In this episode we’re unpacking one of the most confusing (and exhausting) dynamics in anxious relationships ➡️ Anxiety vs. Intuition. And why your nervous system can't tell the difference.... yet. 
We’ll dive into:
✨ The #1 way to know it’s anxiety (not intuition)
✨ How urgency, reactivity & spiraling feel like instinct - but aren’t
✨ Why you're addicted to checking the “emotional alarm system”
✨ What happens when your gut is actually trauma memory
✨ How to disable the internal alarm so you stop mistaking fear for truth
✨ What it actually feels like when your intuition is speaking
PLUS: 🥲 A healing win from a client who went from toxic love + cancer treatment → to remission, emotional regulation, and finally letting love in 💅 🛏 My unhinged side quest to find the world’s best sheets (self-regulation starts in the bedroom, babes) 📲 Real talk Q&A from inside The Healing Girl Gang: “Is it weird he only calls at night?”
🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

The Reason You Spiral Even When Nothing’s Wrong in Your Relationship

You’re Not Overreacting - You’re Dysregulated (Here’s Why It Feels Like Everything’s Falling Apart When It’s Actually Fine)
You’re not crazy.
You’re not being dramatic.
You’re just dysregulated AF and your body hasn’t caught up to how safe your life actually is.
This episode is for the high-functioning, hyper-self-aware girlies who are checking all the boxes on paper... but still secretly spiraling in silence. 🙃
If you've ever caught yourself mid-anxiety spiral like: “Wait… nothing bad is happening. So why does this feel so familiar?” then this episode is the nervous system deep-dive you didn’t know you needed!
🧠 Inside this episode, we're unpacking:
✨ Why your brain panics when life finally feels calm
✨ How “being self-aware” can actually mask emotional control
✨ The difference between spiraling and actually self-regulating
✨ Why your nervous system doesn’t trust safety (yet)
✨ The powerful shift from “What’s wrong with me?” to “Of course I feel this way”
✨ How to stop rejecting the good stuff (including your partner’s love) ✨ Real wins from Healing Girl Gang members: showers, breathwork, daily habits that shift your state 💕
If you're tired of managing your emotions like a full-time job and you just want to feel safe being happy... this episode is for you!
🫶 Whether you’re newly dating, navigating relationship anxiety, or trying to trust your GOOD partner, this episode will give you the real talk, mindset shifts, and embodiment work you didn’t know you needed.
👉 Join here: healinggirlgang.com 🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

You're self aware but still in the overthinking spiral?

You’ve read the books, saved the Instagram carousels, diagnosed your attachment style (hi anxious girlies 👋), and can spot a spiral from a mile away… but you’re still spiraling?! 🌀
In this episode, we break down:
💭 Why high self-awareness doesn't stop the overthinking
🧠 The "anxious observer" trap (aka when you know you’re spiraling and still can’t stop)
🪞 How spiraling damages self-trust and your relationship
❤️‍🔥 The secret sauce to actually feeling safe (spoiler: it’s not just positive affirmations)
👩‍⚖️ A juicy client win (shoutout to M, our unbothered queen)
🌲 And what solo camping trips taught Clare about healing from abandonment wounds
✨ If you’re a high-achieving, emotionally intelligent woman who crushes it at work but crumbles inside a text bubble… this one’s for you.
🫶 Whether you’re newly dating, navigating relationship anxiety, or trying to trust your GOOD partner, this episode will give you the real talk, mindset shifts, and embodiment work you didn’t know you needed.
👉 Join here: healinggirlgang.com 🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

When Overthinking Is Your Relationship Coping Mechanism (and why it’s not a Solution)

Do you go to overthinking the second the vibes are off?
Scroll TikTok for answers before the text even delivers?
Google “anxious attachment + texting” like it’s your part-time job? Yeah. Me too.
This episode is for the girlies who know they’re spiraling and feel like they can’t stop—especially when they’re dating someone good. If overthinking has become your coping mechanism in relationships, this episode will land.
We’re talking:
• Why your brain loves overthinking (hint: dopamine)
• Why it feels productive, but actually disconnects you from real connection
• How you're using mental work to avoid emotional work
• The real reason you can explain your triggers but still don’t feel better
I also share a story from my own spiral (yes, the lost RV keys) and shout out a few of my amazing clients who are breaking this cycle in real time—especially Seth and Autumn (you’re killin’ it 👏).
If you’ve ever felt like:
🌀 “I can’t relax until I figure it out”
🧠 “I keep overthinking even though I know I’m safe”
💔 “I keep creating problems when there aren’t any” …this episode is for you.
💌 Inside the Healing Girl Gang, we’re taking this even deeper all month long masterclasses, implementation days, tools, coaching… the works. If this episode hits, wait ‘til you see what we do inside the gang.
 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

Why You Keep Spiraling Even When You Know Better

✨ You’ve read the books. Listened to the podcasts. You could give a TED Talk on attachment styles. So why are you still spiraling?!
In this episode I'm talking to YOU, the high-achieving, emotionally intelligent girlie who knows her patterns but still finds herself overthinking texts, replaying convos, and getting caught in the same loop with the same person... again.
If you’ve ever thought:
🧠 “I know better, but I can’t stop overthinking.”
😬 “Why do I keep doing this when I’m so aware of what’s happening?”
💔 “I feel like two different people—confident in my career, anxious in my relationship.” Then hit play because this episode is for YOU!
We’re breaking down:
• Why knowing your attachment style isn’t enough
• How your brain is prioritizing familiar over safe
• What it really means to “feel ready” for love
• Why you’re addicted to overthinking and calling it “clarity”
• And how to finally shift from spiraling to self-trust
👯‍♀️ Bonus: I shout out a few of my 1:1 clients (hey, Mrs. N 👀) and show you what real healing looks like...not just awareness, but actual transformation.
🎧 And if you’re loving this, this is just the surface. Inside the Healing Girl Gang, we go deeper with tools, practice, and coaching to help you stop overthinking for real, not just for the afternoon.
👉 Join here: healinggirlgang.com 🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session