BeThatHealingGirl Podcast

What Happens When You Keep Saying "I'm Fine" When You're Really Not

You say “I’m fine”… But your stomach’s in knots. Your voice is quieter than usual. You’re spinning in your head while trying to act chill on the outside. Sound familiar?
In this episode, I’m breaking down what really happens in your body, your brain, and your relationships when you keep pretending everything’s okay… especially when it’s not! This is for the high-achieving girlies who can hold it all together at work, but are overthinking up a storm in their relationships. The ones who’ve been told they’re “too much” and the ones who’ve been praised for being “so strong” (but you’re exhausted). 🫠 Yeah, this one’s for you.
We’ll talk about:
✨ What your nervous system is doing when you default to “I’m fine”
✨ Why this pattern is common for anxiously attached, people-pleasing girlies like us.
✨ How to gently shift toward safety, visibility, and actually being known
🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

How We Talked through Something Scary without Pushing Each Other Away

We’ve always agreed we didn’t want kids.
But suddenly, with a hysterectomy on the table…
I felt wobbly.
And there was this tiny part of me whispering, “If I bring up my 'unsureness'… is everything going to change?” In my past relationships, feeling unsure or changing my mind felt like a no-go zone.

I could be decisive and confident everywhere else… (hello career overachiever with receipts) 
but inside my relationships, I was terrified that my truth would ruin everything. My inner perfectionist would jump straight into action:
“Nothing to see here! I’m calm! I’m chill!”

Meanwhile my body was in a full panic on the inside. And the thing I learned the hard way in those old push-pull dynamics was this:
the more honest I was (with him and myself), the closer we became.
Pretending never protected anything 🚨NEWS FLASH🚨 it just protects our fear. So when I finally got real with Craig about how this news made me feel…
how something inside of me shifted around the idea of kids now that the option might be taken away…
he didn’t freak out.
He didn’t it shut down.
He didn’t make it weird. He listened.

He stayed with me.
He held the moment instead of turning away from it. And that’s when it hit me more clearly than ever hiding never helps.
It only hurts. Because the second you start censoring yourself to “keep the peace,” the peace is already gone.
You can’t stay connected AND abandon yourself at the same time.
Changing your mind isn’t wrong.
Feeling something new isn’t wrong.
Saying it out loud is what keeps you close, to your partner and to yourself.
🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

Why Stillness Feels Unsafe When You Have Relationship Anxiety

This week, we’re diving deep into a topic I know hits home for so many high-achieving, anxious girlies: why stillness can feel so unsafe when you have relationship anxiety.
If you ever catch yourself spiraling because the vibe feels “off,” or if a little space in communication has you convinced the whole relationship is doomed…this episode is for you.
Inside this episode, I’m sharing:
✨ Why anxious attachment makes rest and stillness feel dangerous
✨ How I learned to stop overfunctioning and start receiving love (hint: it took surgery and a lot of surrender)
✨ What my explant and fibroid journeys taught me about safety, slowing down, and trusting myself
✨ The belief I had to UNLEARN in order to feel secure in my body and my relationships  
✨ Why stillness is a skill (especially if you grew up in a high-pressure, achievement-driven household)  
✨ How I support Healing Girl Gang members in rewiring their nervous systems for safety and self-trust
✨ A powerful listener Q&A about breaking the cycle of anxious spiraling in a secure relationship
Whether you’re a career rockstar, business owner, or have a few letters behind your name (MD, RN, Esq, PhD…) — and yet still feel like a mess when someone doesn’t text back, you’re in the right place.
This episode isn’t about fixing you... it’s about helping you feel safe enough to finally rest, receive, and trust yourself and your partner. If you’re ready to learn how to stop self-sabotaging and start feeling safe in love, hit play.
And if you’re craving step-by-step support, come join us inside The Healing Girl Gang (where we practice these tools every single month!)
 
🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

How To Stop Over Giving And Still Feel Like A Priority

If you're constantly planning, smoothing things over, doing the most in your relationship while low-key wondering “Why can’t they just do more??” — this episode is for you.
💥 If you're a high-achieving, hyper-capable girly who’s exhausted from holding it all together in love, this is your sign to stop performing and start receiving. Period.
👀 In this episode, I break down:
• The sneaky ways anxious attachment disguises itself as “being helpful”
• Why trying to “earn love through effort” is killing your intimacy
• How overgiving actually blocks your partner from stepping up
• What it really means to feel chosen without performing
• How to stop managing your relationship like a second job
• What to do instead — so you feel prioritized and adored
🎧 We also get into:
• A client win that had me in my feels 🥹 (from overthinking queen to secure & supported)
• A peek inside what’s working inside Healing Girl Gang
• How my husband Craig reminded me (with an accent wall no less 😅) what can happen when we let go and receive
This one’s part tough love, part best friend pep talk, and all soul truth. Because you don’t need to earn love. You deserve to feel it, just as you are.
👇 JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG Weekly trainings, nervous system resets, and live support so you stop spiraling and start receiving: HealingGirlGang.com
🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

How to Feel Like a Priority Without Chasing or Being Needy

In this episoe we’re talking about how to feel like a priority in your relationship... without slipping into overthinking, over‑analyzing every text, or feeling like you’re “asking for too much.”
This episode is for you if:
• You know they care about you… but you can’t always feel it
• You find yourself checking for proof or reassurance
• You are tired of being the one initiating, planning, or emotionally leading
• Your brain does wind sprints when there’s space or distance in the relationship
• You’re successful in every other area of life, but your nervous system goes ✨ feral✨ in love
 
Trust me, I’ve lived this. I went from anxiously attached (and chronically exhausted from managing the relationship in my head) to actually feeling chosen, safe, and prioritized in a secure partnership. And we’re unpacking exactly how that shift happens today. 💛
🌙 If you're new: I’m Clare! Relationship and attachment coach for high‑achieving women who are incredible at life… but feel wobbly in love. MDs, founders, attorneys, academics, corporate powerhouses - the girlies who “have their life together” but still spiral at the slow text response? Yep. You’re home.
Love you, mean it. x Clare 🤍
🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

How I Accidentally Rewired My Anxious Attachment Into a Secure One

You're not needy. You're just healing! In this episode, I’m sharing how I accidentally rewired my anxious attachment into a secure one...without forcing it, faking it, or labeling myself as “crazy.”
If you’ve ever found yourself wondering:
“Why am I spiraling when everything is fine?” “Why do I panic when things finally feel safe?” …or “Why can’t I just stay calm in a good relationship?” This one’s for you, bb 🫶
👇Here’s what we’re unpacking today:
✨ Why your brain freaks out when your body finally relaxes
✨ How “self-awareness” can actually be a form of over-control
✨ Why you still feel unsafe in a healthy relationship
✨ What it really means to self-regulate vs. spiral
✨ The power of experiencing consistent love (instead of just talking about it)
✨ And how your partner’s stability can rewire your nervous system—if you let it
PLUS: real wins from the Healing Girl Gang! 💌
If you’re a high-achieving, emotionally intelligent woman who crushes it at work but crumbles inside a text bubble… this one’s for you. 🫶
Whether you’re newly dating, navigating relationship anxiety, or trying to trust your GOOD partner, this episode will give you the real talk, mindset shifts, and embodiment work you didn’t know you needed.
🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

How Being ‘Chill’ Can Push a Safe Partner Away (When You Have Relationship Anxiety)

Welcome back BBs! In this episode, we’re diving deep into a pattern I see all the time: acting “chill” when inside, you're spiraling. You know the drill...trying so hard to come off as the "cool-low-maintenance-unbothered-girlie" so you don’t scare a good partner away… but then end up feeling lonely, disconnected, or like they’re slipping further away anyway...
Yeah, we’re unpacking THAT.
We’re talking:
✨ Why “being chill” is often just masked FEAR
✨ How inauthenticity actually erodes intimacy
✨ What safe partners are really craving (hint: it’s not perfection) and
✨ How to stop false-signaling and start authentically expressing what’s real for YOU!
Whether you're anxiously attached, healing from abandonment, or a high-achieving, high-performing baddie who secretly (or not-so-secretly) melts down when someone doesn’t text back right away… this one’s for you.
🫶 PLUS: I’m answering a juicy Healing Girl Gang Hotline question from someone navigating a relationship blowup and trying to repair trust after spiraling. 🎧
This episode is for you if you’ve ever:
Said “I’m fine” through gritted teeth Pretended to be cool with ambiguity but were low-key obsessing
Felt like your partner didn’t get how much effort you were putting into not freaking out
Or thought, “Ugh, maybe I’m just not meant to be in a relationship” (spoiler: you are)
P.S. Inside the Healing Girl Gang community, we’re not about faking it till we make it... we’re about becoming actually unbothered from the inside out. If you're ready for deeper connection, more ease, and to stop abandoning yourself to keep someone else, you’ll love this episode!!
🦋 And If You're Ready for The Deeper Work, Checkout These Resources:
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

3 Mistakes You're Making That Make You Second Guess a Secure Relationship

If you're in a healthy relationship but your brain won't stop spiraling... this episode is going to hit home. In this week’s episode I’m breaking down the 3 mistakes that keep high-achieving, anxious girlies stuck in the cycle of second-guessing even the most loyal and consistent partner. If you’ve ever found yourself thinking: “Why can’t I just enjoy this person?” “Why am I prepping for the breakup when everything’s going fine?” “Am I making problems where there are none?” 👀 Then this is for YOU.
I’m walking you through:
✨ The "prep for the pain" loop that keeps you emotionally exhausted
✨ Why treating your relationship like a project to manage is sabotaging your joy
✨ How mistaking surveillance for loyalty drains your connection ✨ And how to finally start trusting yourself so you can receive the love right in front of you
Whether you're dating, in a long-term relationship, or navigating love after heartbreak, this episode is your permission slip to step off the spiral ride and start feeling secure for real.
🎧 Get ready to hear:
→ Why your anxiety won’t let you enjoy a secure partner
→ The real reason you keep sabotaging connection
→ How to stop overthinking and start building self-trust
This episode is especially for my anxious attachment babes, my high-functioning overthinkers, and my career girlies who crush it at work but feel like a mess in love.
This week we’re unpacking the real reason your brain confuses anxiety for intuition (and how to stop self‑sabotaging a healthy relationship!) If you’ve ever questioned your feelings, overanalyzed your partner’s every move, or convinced yourself your anxiety was a “gut feeling,” this episode is for you!
🧠 In this episode we'll be diving into:
✨ Why “the ick” is often a fear of intimacy, not intuition
✨ How anxiety shows up as false alarms in safe relationships
✨ The difference between red flags vs. self‑protection
✨ How to stop testing your partner and start trusting connection
✨ What your nervous system is actually trying to protect you from
✨ Why discomfort doesn’t mean danger—it means growth I share a personal story about how I almost lost an incredible partner because I thought my fear was “a sign.” (Spoiler: it wasn’t.) I want you to stop mistaking safety for boredom and start building the kind of secure relationship you’ve been craving!
🫶 Whether you’re newly dating, navigating relationship anxiety, or trying to trust your GOOD partner, this episode will give you the real talk, mindset shifts, and embodiment work you didn’t know you needed.
 
🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

What Happens When You Confuse Your Anxiety For Intuition

This week we’re unpacking the real reason your brain confuses anxiety for intuition (and how to stop self‑sabotaging a healthy relationship!)
If you’ve ever questioned your feelings, overanalyzed your partner’s every move, or convinced yourself your anxiety was a “gut feeling,” this episode is for you!
🧠 In this episode we'll be diving into:
✨ Why “the ick” is often a fear of intimacy, not intuition
✨ How anxiety shows up as false alarms in safe relationships
✨ The difference between red flags vs. self‑protection
✨ How to stop testing your partner and start trusting connection
✨ What your nervous system is actually trying to protect you from
✨ Why discomfort doesn’t mean danger—it means growth
I share a personal story about how I almost lost an incredible partner because I thought my fear was “a sign.” (Spoiler: it wasn’t.) I want you to stop mistaking safety for boredom and start building the kind of secure relationship you’ve been craving!
🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

Why You Keep Mistaking Anxiety for Intuition in Your Relationship

In this episode we’re unpacking one of the most confusing (and exhausting) dynamics in anxious relationships ➡️ Anxiety vs. Intuition. And why your nervous system can't tell the difference.... yet. 
We’ll dive into:
✨ The #1 way to know it’s anxiety (not intuition)
✨ How urgency, reactivity & spiraling feel like instinct - but aren’t
✨ Why you're addicted to checking the “emotional alarm system”
✨ What happens when your gut is actually trauma memory
✨ How to disable the internal alarm so you stop mistaking fear for truth
✨ What it actually feels like when your intuition is speaking
PLUS: 🥲 A healing win from a client who went from toxic love + cancer treatment → to remission, emotional regulation, and finally letting love in 💅 🛏 My unhinged side quest to find the world’s best sheets (self-regulation starts in the bedroom, babes) 📲 Real talk Q&A from inside The Healing Girl Gang: “Is it weird he only calls at night?”
🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session