BeThatHealingGirl Podcast

When You’re Worried They Won’t Show Up For You on Valentines Day

Worried they won’t show up for you on Valentine’s Day? Spiraling about whether you’ll feel chosen, loved, or disappointed? This episode is for you. 💔
In this week’s podcast ep, we’re talking about relationship anxiety around Valentine’s Day... and why overthinking romance, surprises, and expectations can actually block the connection you want most.
If you’ve ever:
- Wondered if you should tell your partner what you want… or stay “chill”
- Felt scared to seem needy or high‑maintenance
- Lowered your expectations so you don’t get hurt
- Fantasized about being chosen without having to ask
- Kept score after holidays, gifts, or effort …this conversation will hit home.
I’m breaking down the anxious attachment patterns that get activated around Valentine’s Day, including the internal debate of “Do I say something or not?”, people‑pleasing tendencies, and how the pressure to be the “cool girl” creates distance in relationships.
We also talk about:
✨ Why overthinking ruins spontaneity and romance
✨ The truth about wanting to feel chosen in relationships
✨ How scorekeeping damages connection over time
✨ What you’re actually in control of (and what you’re not)
✨ How to lead yourself through uncertainty without spiraling
Because here’s the hard truth: you are NOT in control of whether your partner “gets it right” on Valentine’s Day… but you are in control of how you show up for yourself. If you struggle with anxious attachment, relationship anxiety, or overthinking a good partner — this episode will help you reset before the holiday and focus on what actually builds secure love.
💌 Ready for deeper support? Inside Healing Girl Gang, we practice the tools and reps that move you from anxious attachment → secure connection.
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session
 

Why You Overthink When Nothing is Wrong in the Relationship

If things feel safe in person but the moment you’re apart your brain goes into panic mode… this is the episode to save, replay, and send to your bestie.
In this episode I share:
✨ Why your brain goes into “red alert” even when there’s no actual danger
✨ What overthinking is really trying to protect you from
✨ How anxious attachment can show up as avoidant behavior
✨ The sneaky ways your anxiety becomes a compulsion (yes, like gambling)
✨ What finally helped me stop trying to micromanage my relationship
This one’s personal... I also share how the same overthinking loop showed up in planning my trip to the Philippines (including seeing my dad for the first time in years)… and what finally helped me feel safe enough to stop trying to figure it all out.
And if you feel like you logically know there’s no threat but your body still freaks out? You're not broken. You're running an old system.
Inside The Healing Girl Gang, we don’t just talk about the theory, we practice the new pattern. 🎧 So if you’re tired of always waiting for the other shoe to drop, this is your sign to listen.
🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

I Didn’t Look at the Facts, and My Relationship Paid the Price

In today’s episode, I’m getting real about the moment I didn’t look at the facts and how my relationship paid the price. If you’re an overthinker, a scenario-maker, a “what if” queen, or someone who keeps searching for problems when there are none… this episode is for you.
Because here’s the hard truth:
👉 Overthinking in relationships isn’t emotional intelligence.
👉 It’s avoidance.
👉 And it quietly pushes safe, loving partners away.
If you’ve ever wondered, “Wait… am I the drama?” (lovingly), you’re in the right place.
In this episode we talk about:
✨ Why anxious attachment makes you question healthy relationships
✨ How self-sabotage shows up as “being logical” or “being cautious”
✨ The difference between facts vs. stories your anxiety creates
✨ Why safe love can feel boring, uncomfortable, or “wrong” at first
✨ How trying to control conversations and outcomes kills intimacy
✨ What it actually takes to stop pushing good people away
 
I also share a personal update after my hysterectomy recovery, how this same self-sabotage pattern showed up in my health journey, and why anxious attachment isn’t just about dating... it’s about how we avoid deeper emotional truth in every area of life. If you’re a high-achieving woman who is crushing it in your career but spiraling in your relationship… I see you. You are not broken. You’re just running an outdated emotional system.
🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

How to Stop Trying So Hard Because You’re Scared They’ll Stop Loving You

Welcome back to the Be That Healing Girl podcast! 🧠💘
Today’s episode is for the girlies who are exhausted from being the emotional project manager of their relationship. You know the one: the planner, the fixer, the emotional laborer, the one Googling “how to stop being anxious but still be lovable.”
If your brain tells you, “If I stop trying, nothing will happen,” and you're scared your relationship will crumble unless you give 200% every second… this episode will hit. hard. 👀
We’re talking:
- The lie anxious attachment tells you about effort = love
- How overfunctioning is killing your vibe and your connection
- What it actually means to feel safe and loved without working overtime
- And why letting your partner choose you requires you to chill (even if it makes you twitchy)
Plus... an update from my hysterectomy recovery era and how Head Nurse Craig is thriving, and I am deeply humbled and deeply moisturized.
🎧 And don’t forget: if you’re tired of the spiral, the resentment, and the fake chill girl act, the Healing Girl Gang is where we turn information into actual transformation. It’s not just “awareness,” babe. It’s reps, it’s nervous system work, it’s receipts. Come do the work and feel good doing it!
🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

A Simple Way to Slow Down an Overthinking Spiral in the Moment

If your brain goes from 0 to 100 the second something feels “off” ... if you replay conversations, wait for texts, or feel that frantic “I have to fix this” energy... this episode is for you! In today's podcast I’m walking you through a simple, science‑backed breathing tool you can use right now to slow down an anxious spiral and bring your nervous system back online.
This is the tool I personally use when:
• I feel the urge to check my phone
• My thoughts start racing
• My body feels buzzy, panicky, or unsafe
• My anxious attachment is running the show
Inside this episode, you’ll learn:
✨ Why anxiety and anxious attachment thrive on speed
✨ What a “psychological sigh” is and how it calms your nervous system
✨ A step‑by‑step breathing technique to use when you’re spiraling
✨ The difference between calming a symptom vs. rewiring the system
And I’m also going to be real with you: This tool will slow the spiral, but it won’t heal anxious attachment by itself. That happens when you change the system your nervous system is running on.
That’s exactly what we do inside Healing Girl Gang through reps, structure, and real‑life nervous system retraining, not just mindset hacks.
And just know: You are not broken.
You are not too much.
Your nervous system learned a pattern... and it can learn a new one.
 
🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

Why You Get More Anxious the More You Focus on Your Relationship

If you’ve ever said *“I’m gonna be the BEST partner ever and do all the right things”… and then wondered why you still feel anxious, on edge, or like you're constantly spiraling... this episode is for you.
Today, I’m breaking down why over-focusing on your relationship is actually making you feel less secure, more anxious, and totally disconnected from yourself.
Inside this episode, we dive into:
💔 The sneaky anxious attachment loop that leads to emotional burnout
🔁 Why logic alone won’t soothe your nervous system
🧠 How hyper-focusing on your partner creates fragility in your relationship
📱 The role your phone (yep!) plays in your spirals
🌱 What “watering your own garden” actually looks like when you have anxious tendencies
Plus, I share a personal story about going to the movies alone (and loving it!) something old-me would never have done, and why this tiny moment marked a huge healing milestone.
This episode is part love letter, part wake-up call and it’s the kind of grounded nervous system reframe I wish I had years ago. If you’re an anxious achiever, a closeted overfunctioner, or a recovering people-pleaser who’s tired of trying to “fix” your relationship by fixing yourself... listen to this one all the way through. There’s no shame here, just clarity, tools, and space to breathe again. 👇
Let me know in the comments if this hit home, and say “girlgang” if you’re ready to rewire this pattern with me inside The Healing Girl Gang.
 
🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

3 Anxious Attachment Habits That Ruin Your Relationships Over Time

In this episode we’re breaking down the 3 most common (but sneaky) anxious attachment habits that slowly destroy connection over time... even in loving relationships!
If you:
- Feel like you’re too much or never enough
- Constantly overanalyze texts, tone, or timing
- Chase closeness, but end up feeling even more alone…
This episode is your wake-up call and your path to healing!
 
We’ll dive into:
💔 The hidden habits rooted in fear of abandonment
🧠 Why “logic” won’t save you from spiraling
💡 What to do instead to create security, closeness, and calm
 
Whether you’re currently in a relationship or just trying to break old patterns before your next one, this is a must-listen!
🎧 Save it, share it, and come back when you need the reminder.
P.s. If you're new here, this is exactly the kind of deep nervous system work we do inside of my community, the Healing Girl Gang - because healing anxious attachment doesn’t just change your relationships… it changes you.
Let me know which habit resonated most in the comments 💬👇
 
🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

The Fastest Way To Calm An Overthinking Spiral

If your thoughts are spiraling… If you’re checking your phone again… If your brain won’t slow down and it feels like your nervous system is in overdrive… This episode is your quick reset. 🤍
In today’s episode I’m walking you through the fastest and most effective tool I use to calm an anxious spiral (especially when I don’t have the luxury of sitting in it). This isn’t a long list of coping strategies. It’s one tool. One moment. One practice. To bring you back to yourself.
We’ll cover:
✨ How to disrupt an anxious overthinking loop in real time
✨ Why your chest breath might be making things worse
✨ The underrated ancient practice that resets your nervous system
✨ How to be present when you feel totally out of control If your texts are open, your heart is pounding, and you’re stuck refreshing their story or waiting for a reply… you’re not alone! I’ve been there. This is exactly the kind of moment where this tool matters most.
🎧 Save this episode. Come back to it. Share it with a friend who spirals too. And if you’re listening while I’m recovering from surgery (yep, hysterectomy time), send some love my way. I’ll take all the healing vibes you’ve got.
💌 As always, this is the kind of real, grounded, nervous system support we do inside the Healing Girl Gang. You are so not alone.
 
🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

How To Stay Grounded When Their Mood or Distance Triggers Your Anxiety

In today’s episode I’m breaking down why your nervous system reacts so intensely to your partner’s mood, distance, or emotional shifts... and more importantly, how to stay grounded instead of spiraling. This one is especially for my high‑achieving, high‑functioning girlies who are crushing it at work… but feel like they’re one unread message away from losing their peace in love.
We’re talking about:
✨ Why “the vibes feel off” can completely derail your nervous system
✨ The difference between reacting from fear vs responding from regulation
✨ Why reassurance only works temporarily (and what actually creates safety)
✨ How anxious attachment keeps you stuck trying to outthink or outwork your emotions
✨ The nervous system mistake high achievers make in relationships
✨ How to stay grounded (even when there is distance, silence, or uncertainty)
I also share personal updates around my upcoming hysterectomy and how physical discomfort, overstimulation, and stress lower our emotional threshold - making relationship anxiety feel louder and harder to manage. (Spoiler: this isn’t about “doing more,” it’s about reducing the load.)
Plus, I’m celebrating a HUGE win from a client who is navigating dating without losing herself! Proof that healing anxious attachment isn’t about perfection, it’s about recommitment.
Sending you so much love, Clare 🤍
 
🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

Why Choosing Yourself Makes Your Relationship Feel More Safe

🦋 Ready for the deeper work? 
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session